I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
