You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Ladies don't puke and tell
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
