dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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