her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
