Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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