He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just high enough for therapy.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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