my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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