How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
