No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
