I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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