After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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