my soul wont recognize me after tonight
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
His nipple licking is glorious
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