Betty ford says i'm here all night
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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