i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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