ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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