I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's never too late to be topless.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
