The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Randomize
