oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
