is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
