Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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