Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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