what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
