I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
