Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
