i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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