Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
