i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
