I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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