I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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