You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I am available for nakedness
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
This toilet bowl is my home.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize