nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
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