"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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