Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
