i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
