So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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