Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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