I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
