dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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