There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
