Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
