Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
