She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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