we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
