I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize