You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
