pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
This house was built for laser tag.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
