Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
