so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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