Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
