"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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