at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
