Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
