we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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