You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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