I cockslap morals
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
