my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
