I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
