u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
