well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
