I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
