you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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