the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
