I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize