Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
