I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
