doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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