you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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