the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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