I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
