"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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