oh god the rape fog is back!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize