I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
