white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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