I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
