he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
