my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
