I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I wear drunk well.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
