I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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