it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize