The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
